Compulsive buying behavior - what are you really shopping for?

Have you ever purchased something hoping that it might make you feel better, or help you become some aspirational version of yourself? I think we all have - hello "retail therapy". Sometimes it even works, and it can even be a part of typical shopping experiences. Emotions are so integral to what we do with our money. Compulsive buying behavior (CBB) is one example of a time when the emotional connection to financial behavior is at an unhealthy extreme. Here, I want to talk a little bit about what compulsive buying is, why it's only a temporary "fix" for troublesome emotions, and what can be done about it.

What is compulsive buying behavior?

Compulsive buying behavior is persistent, uncontrollable, impulsive and excessive shopping behavior in spite of negative financial, psychological or social consequences. Typically, shopping behaviors are driven by the pursuit of usefulness and value for money. In contrast, CBB is usually driven by the desire for improving a negative emotional state like low mood or high stress, improving self-image, or gaining social approval. Like other behaviors that can be problematic, compulsive buying behavior occurs on a spectrum, and can vary in intensity based on life stressors and other factors.

But relief is only temporary.

So in this case, purchasing is driven by a cycle of feeling negative emotions and attempting to soothe or "correct" them through purchasing. The problem is that any relief offered by the shopping is temporary; it is usually quickly replaced with feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse over purchasing.

On top of the emotional effects of compulsive buying behavior, people also suffer very tangible "real-life" consequences. For example, many people dealing with this behavior spend hours shopping online, researching products, reading reviews, and otherwise engaging in shopping behavior -often to the detriment of their other obligations like work and family time. Not surprisingly, people who engage in compulsive buying also tend to suffer financial consequences like debt or less money to put towards other financial needs and goals. And of course, many also suffer relational difficulties stemming from CBB, like engaging in secretive behaviors around buying with spouses or partners.

What can be done to help?

If you or someone you know is suffering from compulsive buying behavior, therapy can help. Because the behavior is typically fueled by an underlying unmet emotional need, working with a therapist can raise awareness of what that need is, and find healthier behaviors to cope.

Research has shown support for the effectiveness of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and treatment with SSRIs (antidepressant medications). Mindfulness techniques have also shown to be beneficial in curbing impulsive behavior. A financial therapist can be especially helpful in managing compulsive buying behavior, because they will be able to work with you therapeutically, as well as on the practical financial implications of CBB.